An important attribute of this process is a person´s realization of his or her gender identity and the formation of her/his attitude to well-established gender roles. Therefore deep-rooted traditional concepts about gender roles can greatly affect the process of self-realization for both men and women.

In today’s society there is also a formed perception of the intended role of men and allowable behavior for women. These stereotypes are so ingrained in people's minds that their non-observance causes considerable difficulties in women’s lives in particular: they are constantly talked about, they are condemned and criticized. To avoid such problems our women, as a rule, try to adapt their life goals and priorities to fit the desires and expectations of people who constitute the majority and form public opinion.

This is when the worst happens: the woman begins to build her life as dictated by others and simply loses direction and control over it. As a result it turns out that she doesn’t know what she wants from this life since all important decisions in her life are being made by other people. Speaking of important decisions I was referring to those dependent on women’s self-realization, e.g. the opportunity to express themselves and demonstrate their abilities.

After all, every person, regardless of gender, is in need of self-realization. I think it can be called a human need. And if this need is not fulfilled the person usually just withdraws into herself and after a while loses the opportunity to self-discover and demonstrate her capabilities. Why is this happening?

This raises a whole series of questions beginning with "why": why barriers to self-realization of women are being created? Why can’t an Azerbaijani woman manage her own live and her own time? Why can she not build her life strategy? Why is she so dependent?

The causes of all these difficulties can be found within ourselves and our concept of the image of an ideal woman. In Azerbaijani society today there is an established term "asil gadyn" ("real woman ") – these are women who get married, stay home and raise children (Farida Heyat). By a certain age girls get used to the idea that the main success in life is to marry and have kids.

Self-determination, education, professional or creative self-realization is put aside and after some time simply forgotten forever. Such stereotyping of priorities in life primarily begins in childhood at home. I think nobody would question the role of parents in forming the basic notions about life in children’s minds. It is even largely the task of parents. And as a result it is the parents, in most cases, who engrain in their children that boys are meant to climb the career ladder thus in need of receiving a better education. Girls on the other hand should aim to start their own families. At the same time parents do not even think what kind of individual may grow up as a result - a happy and valuable member of society or an unhappy, withdrawn individual deprived of an opportunity to discover and develop his or her talents and find their place in life.

For a woman, creating a family is an important decision that should be taken independently when she is feeling ready for it. This decision as well as other important decisions in her life should be deliberate and well-thought over. This is what makes our woman so dependent - the lack of a sensible attitude to what is happening in her life. A traditional saying "this is how things are here” is being used by the public as the only argument and justification for this. But actually these are just stereotypes which have been forming in our society for years. Stereotypes, which don’t fit into a simple logic, destroy lives, and which must be changed if they become detrimental to human happiness.

The only barrier for the Azerbaijani women in overcoming all obstacles to self-realization and self-determination is fear. Fear of being misunderstood and condemned, fear of being alone and without support, fear of the first error, making the wrong decision and taking a responsibility for it. The problem with this fear stems from the low awareness that this life doesn’t belong to the people around you, it belongs to you and you are the one who must be living it.

Even if the first step is unsuccessful and the decision is wrong - this is your mistake, your failed experience, your life. All that is left is to overcome this fear, to subdue it, gather your willpower for manifestation of your abilities and opportunities to become confident and successful! We really have nothing to fear but fear itself (Franklin D. Roosevelt)!